Hiatus

I'm currently trying to learn basic HTML Code; I purchased a domain name, and will be moving once again. Wish me luck; I hope to be done within two weeks, with a custom designed template. As such I'm dropping blogging for the next two weeks, so there will be no updates; regular posts will return on 1/15/14, whether or not I am done. If I am finished, I will post a link to the updated site. Feel free to browse the archives at this time.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

My best friend as a kid was named Dan. Dan and I met in 4th grade, after my best friend at the time had moved. We were united by a fervor for both pokemon and yugioh at the time. When we hung out, we would play video games, watch movies, and generally keep it lowkey; however, we never really went outside much. As we started getting older, around 7th and 8th grade, we still never really hung out at the mall, hung out with girls, or any of that, preferring to isolate ourselves through video games and TV. We remained best friends up until High School, when I went away to a private school while he stayed at public school. We intended to remain friends in High School, but after going to a Metallica concert together as freshman, we started to drift apart. I hadn't seen Dan since I was a Freshman, and I didn't have any plans last night, so I decided to message him and see if he wanted to hang out. We made plans to meet at his house around 5:30.
Dan's a short kid, and he's a little chubby. He stands about 5'5, but weighs around 180 lbs. He also talks a little weird, but has always been a genuinely nice kid. When he met me at the door, I noticed he'd grown a beard. We chatted for a minute before I came inside his house, where I was met by his mom, also a genuinely nice person. After an initial reminisce, Dan and I headed to his basement, where we had spent much of our childhoods. The basement was about the same as I remembered it, except his old TV had been replaced with a nice flatscreen, and his sister had collected a miniature home studio, complete with amps, guitars, and microphones. Dan was very talkative at first, but after about 30 minutes conversation became more strained, because we realized we didn't have much in common. We spent the night watching Ted, and watching a few episodes of Family Guy and American Dad.
Dan never really outgrew video games, pokemon, and all of that. He talked about video games, anime, and TV almost as if he used it as an escape from reality. I was surprised to learn that he wrestled in High School at the 152 lb weight class, but in the short few months since he graduated High School, he's managed to gain 30 lbs, and not of muscle. I touched on the idea of girls with him, but the conversation was short. He told me he hasn't had much luck with girls, but not for a lack of trying. He added near the end of the conversation that he thinks that his beard is the reason he can't get a girlfriend, like all of his friends have. In terms of any extracurricular activity, it seems as if he doesn't have much. His average day seems to consist of school followed by video games; he didn't have many interests outside of those two things.
There's nothing wrong with Dan. Once you get past how he presents himself, he's just like any other person. The issue with Dan is that he hasn't experienced as much of life as he should've, through no fault of his own. He was never a popular kid, an many experiences of life had been denied to him through peer exclusion. He decided to fill his time with something to escape from reality, namely video games and TV. I was the same way in Middle School, but as I've experienced more and more of the real world, I've grown to like it more and more. Although it's not something everyone necessarily has to like, I prefer life to virtual reality. I'm not going to try to change Dan to make him more like me; he's his own unique person, and it's up to him to go through his unique life path. I'm not going to tell him how to get girls, I'm not going to tell him how to be cooler, how to be more fashionable, or how to do anything of that nature. I'm not going to tell him to go to the gym more often, to be friendlier, or to stop watching anime. Maybe he will achieve all of these things through imitation, but it's none of my business to change these things. I'm going to hang out with Dan more often, and treat him just like any one of my other friends. I plan on hitting him up to go to the mall soon; here's to he and I being friends again.

How I've changed over the past year

Fitness:
Last Year-I weighed between 160-165 lbs, but in relatively good shape pound for pound. Could do 14 pull-ups, didn't bench much, centered workouts around plyometrics and machines. Had a full on six pack, but you could see my ribs easily. Ran 5:30 mile, hadn't pulled a 2k in about two years on the erg, but 2k pace was 1:44. Neglected nutrition, but did eat well.
This Year-I've upped my weight to a baseline around 184. Still in good shape, but not as strong pound for pound. Topped 200 on the bench press, but don't focus much on presses. Can do 11 pull-ups now, and still run a mile in about the same amount of time. Center workouts around freeweights and cables now; would like to return to more plyometrics once I hit 195 lbs. Started deadlifting and squatting on a consistent basis. Dropped to a 4-pack, but can no longer see my ribs. Last 2k was six months ago, pulled in 6:51, now 2k pace hovers around 1:40-1:41. Nutrition is more important to me

Relationships:
Last Year-Finished calendar year in a committed relationship. Relationship was on decline stages, and I noticed it; I correctly predicted that it wouldn't last more than a month into 2013. (Although we didn't stop fucking until five months later). I generally would have sex with anyone who wanted to, and had a thing for hitting up girls I had already been with.
This Year-Haven't officially dated since my last relationship, but have had some fuckbuddies who were basically girlfriends. Am more picky about sex; however, has lead to having less sex. I recently turned down two girls that hit me up, one was a girl I had already been with, the other a new girl. The new girl said she wanted to blow me, then eventually said she wanted to have a threeway with me and her boyfriend. Haven't had sex in a month, but still said no. Recently ended talking to two girls I had talked to for a while. It seems now when I commit to stop talking to a girl, I stay true to that commitment now.

Substances:
Last Year-Strictly weed and alcohol. Not too often, would drink probably once a week, and would smoke less often than that.
This Year-Experimented with a few new drugs, most notably combining Xanax and Weed, and tried LSD once. Didn't do any new drug more than once except for Xanax. Smoked less than the year before, except for one weekend in which I smoked an ounce in two days, but drank more consistently. Switched from a liquor drinker to a beer drinker, and went from drinking to get wasted to drinking to get buzzed. Acquired taste for beer. As year went on, I smoked less and less. As of this writing, I haven't smoked weed in 3 and a half months. Haven't touched alcohol in a while either. Nevertheless, I recommend that, assuming it doesn't violate any personal moral code, everyone experiments. Drugs, especially drugs like LSD, provide a new view on life. I don't like drugs because they're so counterproductive, but assuming you do drugs to supplement your reality rather than to dominate it, they can be an interesting thing.

Friendships:
Last Year-Had a close friendship with about 4 guys. Would hang out with all of them a lot, but didn't have much of a friends list beyond my close circle. Tended to be a dick to everyone I met, because it was funny.
This Year-Still great friends with all my close friends from before, but not as much. Don't have any best friends right now, but I have a couple of friends I hang out with. Still am a dick to others

Sports:
Last Year-Followed hockey religiously. Quit my Varsity Hockey team Senior Year because I had issues with the coach, and helped coach the JV Squad instead. However, I was looking to have my best year that year, I felt better in every respect than I was before.
This Year-Don't follow hockey as much anymore, but watch almost every Devils game. Haven't played hockey as much as I'd like. Got more into basketball, and became a lot better at basketball after practicing two hours a day for a month during the summer. I think I got worse at hockey since last year.

Music:
Last Year-Listened mainly to Rap, however liked all genres. Began writing rap, using instrumentals from old J Dilla beats and classic rap songs such as 93' til infinity. Favorite artists were Capital STEEZ, Kendrick Lamar, Joey Bada$$, Ab-Soul, and J. Cole. Listened to other genres, but not as much as rap.
This Year-Listened to a wider variety of music. Focused more on a psychedelic sound. Began producing, and finally got around to learning guitar after practicing about 3 hours a day, every day, since summer. Favorite artists are Capital STEEZ, MGMT, Foster the People, Neutral Milk Hotel, Tame Impala, The Beatles, Velvet Underground, Marvin Gaye, and Mac Miller.

Happiness:
No noticeable difference between last year and this year, although theoretically I should be happier this year. Has devolved into an entire post, will release another time.

Stalker Level 10

When you walk into my gym, you are immediately flanked by the Men's Locker Room on the right and the check-in desk on the left. The Men's Locker Room was recently renovated, and looks absolutely beautiful now; the lockers give plenty of space for everything you brought, the showers are nicer, and there are a few bathroom stalls. If you walk past the check-in area, you will be able to go in one of four directions. Straight ahead, you find a miniature restaurant, where you can buy food, protein, workout gear, drinks, or watch sports and bullshit. To your right, there is a room with a pool, sauna, and hot tub, the perfect place to decompress after a grueling workout. To the left, you will find hall leading to the aerobic room, along with a few racquet ball courts. Up the stairs, you will find yourself in another hallway. On the second floor, to your immediate right, you will see a personal training room, if you opt to pay extra for someone to yell into your ear while you work out. To the left, there is a short walkway with more racquet ball courts, which will lead you to the weight room.
This morning, after changing in the locker room, I headed towards the aerobic room. I planned to start off by rowing intervals on an erg; six intervals of 500 meter sprints (For me, 500m done at a minimum under 1:40.0), followed by a 2:00 rest. On this day, I happened to see a friend who graduated from the same high school as me, also on the erg. He rows crew for Princeton, but his semester recently ended, so he has to workout back home.. His workout was slightly different than mine was; four 10:00 intervals, followed by a 10:00 rest. He averaged somewhere around a 1:50 split in what is essentially a grueling endurance workout. On this day, I also happened to catch sight of another man, leaving the locker room around the same time as I did. This man looked to be about 35 years old and out of shape, but in otherwise perfect health. He plopped his body onto the exercise bikes, which are located right next to the ergs, and started cycling at a lackadaisical pace. After I finished my erg workout, I headed upstairs to work on my legs. Luckily for me, the middle-aged man finished his light bike warmup the same time that I finished rowing, and headed upstairs the same time that I did.
The weight room in my gym in a very large room. When you reach the end of the hallway leading up to the weight room, you will find yourself close to the right-side wall in the room. If you walk the length of the weight room going straight, there is another hallway leading to rooms used primarily for the classes offered with membership, such as Yoga. These rooms are filled to the brim with medicine balls, BOSU balls, and light weights. Coming off of the right-side wall, there is about three rows of machines that work on your entire lower body, from the hip adductors downward. If you go to the left, there is a dumbbell rack, followed by benches, followed by more machines for the upper body, and two Icarian cable crossovers. All the way on the left wall, there are machines for core workouts. In the far left corner, there are two real squat racks, and one smith machine. My victim, middle aged man (MAM) headed straight to the right for what I'm sure he believed to be a tiring day of lower body exercises. Seeing as how I was working legs today, I thought I'd keep an eye on him.
I headed to the squat rack, and loaded up the bar. There was weight on it already from the last person, who didn't take the weight off, which slightly annoyed me. Nonetheless, I did a set of squats, and then headed to the leg machines, where I followed up with a set of prone leg curls and calf raises. I noticed my target, MAM, was on a machine for glutes. He would do sets at explosive movements and awful form (Impressive considering he was using machines), exploding during the concentric phase, and letting gravity do the work for the eccentric phase, in a somewhat violent manner. He also seemed to be using weights heavier than he was realistically able to handle. Following a set, he would stay on the machine and stare at the clock. After finishing the calf raises, I went back to the squat; I repeated this cycle four more times (The fifth time using a leg press instead of squatting). MAM went machine hopping, doing three sets per machine. When I went back to the prone leg curl for my fifth set, he had just gotten off of it. After finishing the cycle five times, I finished off in the weight room by doing two sets on each side for hip abductors, and hip adductors. It became increasingly clear that MAM would not be squatting, or using any free weights for that matter, on this day. He also wasn't doing a full-body exercise, leaving the weight room the same time I did, an hour after coming to the gym. He went straight home; I headed to the indoor field (Past the aerobic room, in a room with heavy bags) to do work with a plyobox for another 30 minutes.
If my gym sounds nice, that's because it is. And unsurprisingly, my gym is also very expensive; a $200 start up fee, and $70 a month. The workout that MAM did today was a workout that could be replicated at Planet Fitness for $60 less a month. MAM is clearly a person that doesn't understand how to work out properly, and would probably benefit from a personal trainer for a little bit, assuming he's too lazy to learn the dynamics of working out online in his free time, and too proud to ask for assistance from the supervisor in the weight room. I'm not doubting that MAM has the honest intention of getting into better shape, and I'm not going to criticize some intangible factor such as heart which he may or may not have. Maybe he is genuinely lazy, or maybe he just doesn't know how to work out properly*. Nevertheless, if you're going to invest that much time, money, and effort into a gym, or anything for that matter, make the most of it. Learn what you're supposed to do, ask for help if you have to. If you're investing time into doing something improperly, then you're just wasting your time, and everyone else's (Damn asshole made me wait for him to finish his horrid set of prone leg curls before I could get a set on, and yes, he sweated all over it).

*And yes, nutrition and lifting go hand in hand, and there's a pretty good chance he isn't eating properly either. Don't bother going to a gym if you're going to neglect something as important as proper nutrition. Proper fitness is not a "One hour a day, three days a week thing."

Entrepreneurship

Growing up in my life, I've been lucky to have my younger brother. We used to fight a lot and not get along as much, but in all honesty he's a great kid. And while he's awful at traditional "inside the box" classroom thinking, he is incredibly gifted at handling other people, and is also a natural salesman. Two years ago, when he was a High School freshman, he started a mini-business, mass buying candy and selling it to his friends at school. He failed miserably, but this showcases how his mind has always been. In the summer before his sophomore year, he became interested in buying and selling Jordan's. For those who don't know, Jordan's are shoes made of $20 of material by Chinese children and sold in America for $200 because of the logo. Different shoes are released sporadically in incredibly limited quantities, running almost entirely on the principle of supply and demand. Originally, my brother talked me into funding his idea when he needed extra money: he would do the work, and throw me a pair of sneakers every once in a while. The first sneakers we bought were from a random guy we found on Craigslist; he was about 30 years old, and sold us a pair of Military 4s and Blackcat 4s for $180 so that he could buy the soon to be released Fire Red 4s.

Each Jordan release (e.g. 3s, 6s, 11s) relies on the its release's design plan, with slight modifications (military 4s are blue and white, fire red 4s are close to the same but red instead of blue, etc...) So we started out with about $280 worth of shoes that we paid $180 for. We eventually found a Facebook group of kids selling and trading kicks, and became active. Our second purchase was $50 and the Blackcat 4s for a pair of copper foamposites. We then found a kid offer eggplant foams for an Xbox 360. We were really excited at the prospect of trading our spare xbox 360 for a pair of eggplant foams, but when we inspected the foams, we found out they were fake and ended the deal.

We also found a couple of great deals on worn down kicks, paying under $80 for each of them. By the time our collection grew to 6 strong, I told my brother I was taking full ownership of the military 4s. I said he could do whatever he wanted to the other shoes, but the 4s would always stay as my personal pair.. A week or so later, I slept over my friends house for a few days. I came home to find out that my brother sold the military 4s for $100, so he could go to Six Flags (the fact he sold the 4s below market value bothered me in and of itself). I was incensed, and told him I was out of the business and he had to reimburse me, as well as replace the military 4s. We came to a deal where he gave me some money, the copper foams, and a pair of fire red 4s, and from that point on we went our separate ways.

We are now a year and a half since he started his shoe trading business. Since then, I've made a few trades with him for new shoes, and get good deals because we're blood related. However, in the truest sense of a hustler, my brother can be brutal in taking advantage of kids who don't know what they're doing. Since that original investment of $180, my brother now has a collection of about 12 shoes, including much coveted sneakers like Bred 11s, Olympic 7s, Lebron South Beach 9s, and dead stock (never worn) Concords.

His shoe collection, which is probably worth about 3,000 right now, is impressive considering he's invested about 500 of his own (and my) dollars into it. This also isn't including when he sells his kicks when he needs his money for something, and when he's traded sneakers for things other than sneakers (Such as for beats). Is this atypical for someone who trades kicks? In all honesty, it isn't. I know a kid who has about 60 pairs of sneakers, and the connections to get any pair he wants. He used to sell them in my High School, and was the go to guy for any fashion accessories, from belts to sunglasses. These people, the successful entrepreneurs, exploit market inefficiencies.  

Why do I bring this up? Because market inefficiencies are all around us; most of the world we live in can be broken down into financial terms. Want a girl? Go to a place where you have the least demand (Competition both in terms of quantity and quality), and the most supply (Single, or at least willing, girls). People can monetize anything (Although many things aren't worth monetizing). For example, the drug market works in this way. Someone (A supplier), buys massive quantities of a certain drug, and sells it to dealers at an inflated price (Who then sell their product at an inflated price). Collectable items such as baseball cards work in this way as well; certain cards have insane disparities between actual value and what someone is willing to pay for it. Cars operate in this fashion, and if you know how to work on cars, you can make some serious money on them. Living so close to my brother, I can watch a naturally great salesman at work; here is what's necessary to be successful in this type of model. Here are the keys (In descending order of importance)

• Know your market

You have to know the worth of what you're selling (Or trying to get), where the best places to sell or buy it are, and how to tell if something is real or fake. The more information you have on this, the easier it is to take advantage (If it's your cup of tea) of people who don't know what they're doing, and the harder it is for you to be taken advantage of.

• Reputation

I'm counting connections in here, but it's easy to make connections. It's much more difficult to make great connections, but that is what you strive to do, and good connections aren't going to do business with you if you're a scammer, liar, incompetent, lazy, or inconsistent. We all strive to be in a position where we have so much business that we have to turn it away. When I interned at a private investment firm, I learned about the Strattonites, and read the book The Wolf of Wall Street. In all reality, the firm was a complete scam, where they pumped and dumped the market. On the inside, the firm was rotting. But to the outside viewer, this was an investment firm which brought consistent returns no matter what the condition of the market was, with people who seemed like successful rockstars of the investment world (If I remember correctly, it was mandatory to drive a sports car if you wanted to work there). They had so many people wanting to invest with them that they actually turned people away on a fairly regular basis. The air of exclusivity created by this actually made the Strattonites more in demand. The same happens with so many things. Girls will crawl over each other for a shot at someone in the same position that the Strattonites were in. Jordan is marketed so well, that kids will look at who's wearing what, and buy them to be like their idols (Whether it be celebrities, or the popular kids, or whoever it may be).

• Common Sense

Don't put yourself into a position where you put yourself at a disadvantage. Identify the markets best to be exploited, and when to conserve your resources. I remember one night where my friend and I was ran into a group of mutual friends, with three boys and three girls. We flirted with the girls, but it wasn't going anywhere with the other guys lurking. My friend and I talked about it, and decided to bring everyone to a party where we knew everyone. We made it our plan to alienate the guys, and eventually made them leave. With the girls by themselves, we had a nice group of two guys and three girls. My friend took a girl and went his own way, and left me with the two girls. I managed to make out with the girl I wanted, but the other girl was upset she didn't have a guy anymore, and wasn't up for a threesome. When I realized nothing was going to happen, I left in the middle of making out with my girl without saying a word. They called for me to come back, but I just ignored them and trudged onward. What's the moral of this story? If you're the three guys with your girls, and you see two guys trying to assimilate with your group, don't let them into your group. You'll end up having to go jerk off that night. Do not put yourself in a position where you're at a significant disadvantage. On a sidenote, don't ever make yourself desperate for a sale/purchase, you'll end up being screwed over.

• Plan of Attack

Anything with sales isn't for the light-hearted. If you're selling shoes, you have to know what you want, you cannot defer to the other person for the final price. Decisiveness is important, and if you see a worthwhile business venture, it's important to go for it. Going after dead leads, or things with a limited reward in comparison to what you can get elsewhere, won't necessarily help. But if you see what you think is a great deal, you have to at least go for it. My brother won't bother with most of the people looking to sell him sneakers. However, if he sees a kid selling a pair of sneakers at a price much lower than market value, my brother forges a deal immediately. Decisiveness is so important, you have to know what you want, not kind of know what you want.

There are a number of other factors involved in being a successful salesman, such as topics which address the sale itself (Likability, Contrast Principle, etc...), but the most important thing is to put yourself in a position to succeed (Either by finding something which you will naturally be in a position to succeed in, or making the conditions within the environment). These four points are the most important things to making that happen.

Nutrition

Today I downloaded a new app, myfitnesspal, to start tracking my nutrition. Nutrition is the most important aspect of shaping your body, even more so than working out, although you will not build muscle if you don't work out. If you work out without taking in enough calories, you won't gain any weight. You can also lose weight without ever going to the gym if you manage your diet properly. I would call today, by my standards, an average day in terms of eating while bulking. I took in just under 4,000 calories today. A few notes on my diet:

• I really need to take in more potassium and fiber, and I suspect most Americans do as well. I had more fiber rich foods today than I usually do and still didn't have enough.

• On the flip side, I don't take in enough cholesterol. The most accessible source of cholesterol is an egg, but a single egg contains about 80% of your daily recommended cholesterol. I will start eating an egg every other day.

• For someone who doesn't drink soda, eat candy, and avoids sweets, I still take in way too much sugar. Sugar is poisonous to the body when taken in excessive amounts, and I always figured my sugar intake was average at most. This is mildly concerning, and something to keep an eye on in the future.

• My protein intake is more or less on target considering I had pasta with olive oil for dinner instead of meat, and had 1/4 cup less of tuna today with lunch than normal. However, I could still bump it up a little. I work out four times a week, and only drink protein on days I work out (such as today). I may start working out with greater frequency for shorter periods of time (I usually average 1.5-2 hours) and drink protein shakes every day.

• Too much sodium, and not much of a surprise considering how prevelent it is in our foods. I will nevertheless make a concerted effort to have less sodium.

• The vitamin C is explained by my munching on vitamin C drops all day. Vitamin C is water-soluble so it doesn't matter how much I take in as long as I take in enough.

• Not listed: I drank about 90oz of water today. That's six water bottles for whoever's counting. 

• I doubt I've ever taken in 100% of my recommended calcium intake, and ideally I would like to be at slightly more than 100% for calcium per day. More milk for me.

My Last Day at College

My first college experience didn't start well. Two weeks of nonstop partying left me with nothing but a loose clique, a restraining order against my primary fuckbuddy, and four charges against me, ranging from harassment to violence. Neither my main bitch, Rach, or I, wanted a restraining order, so we just ignored it. I don't remember much from the beginning of the day, it was just typical classes, bullshit, enjoying myself as usual.  Near the end of the day, I Iearned that I didn't make the main roster for the hockey team at the school; the cards were always stacked against me, having 8 returning defenseman already on the roster. Nevertheless, any excuse to drink remains a good excuse to drink. My main fuckbuddy asked me if she could pick up a bottle from the kid I got into a fight with a few days before, I didn't really care. It bothered me that she wouldn't suck my dick before going, but she did put her mouth on my shaft before leaving, so I took solace in that small victory. I proceeded to smoke with her best friend, making her buy the dime. The awkwardness in the air was so thick I could've cut through it with a knife. When we were done, we returned to the campus to meet up with Rach, who brought along a bottle of svedka vodka. It was shit, and I didn't drink much, my mind preoccupied with how she procured this bottle. Maybe she sucked his cock for it, maybe she fucked for it, but it was obvious they didn't buy it. I could taste the cock on her lips the first time we kissed, and I didn't kiss her again for the rest of the night. I ended up spending the entire night thinking about what was next. I already decided that I wasn't fucking Rach that night, and likely wasn't going to fuck her from that point forward. After drinking with some friends, I walked her back to her room, under the pretense that we would fuck. I was planning on leaving and hitting up another girl during this time. However, everything was complicated when her bitchy RA intercepted us in the hall, proclaiming with her paramount authority that the RA of another dorm had previously reported us for excessive drunkenness. Rach stubbornly acted like a drunk slut would, and it ended up with her RA calling Public Safety, despite my obstinate pleas to the contrary. I left, although Rach begged me to come back. They transported her to the hospital to detox, while I returned to the friends we were with before. During this time I began to worry for her safety, and began texting her incessantly, begging for a health update. After five unanswered texts, I was convinced she died or was in a coma and texted her I love you to see if she would answer. After no answer, I ended up in a somewhat depressed state. I ultimately decided against(?) the wishes of the girls who's room I was in that I was sleeping there. I started out sleeping on the floor, and once again decided to sleep in the bed of one of the girls, Gina, who was a virgin. She offered protests to the contrary, but I got the impression from her if I actually was planning to do something with her, she would go for it. She repeatedly said she wasn't "comfortable with this because I was with Rach," (complete bullshit on her part, I hu with her best friend in front of her the day before) probably looking for permission or denial from me. I toyed with the idea of hooking up with her, but was too depressed at the time because Rach ended up in the hospital and decided to just fall asleep while aggressively cuddling her (does such a thing exist?) 

I woke up at 4am, and checked my phone to about 8 calls from Rach. I called her back, and heard her phone going off in the room I was in. She actually ended up sleeping in the same room as I did. Ecstatic, I went to her, where her friend, angry that I woke her up, kicked us both out. After a mini journey trying to find my room key (it was in the mess hall, where a stray employee happened to be at 4:30 am just in time to return it to me) we went back to my room and fell into unconsciousness. The next time I would wake up, I would be being escorted by public safety to the Dean of students to subsequently be removed from the college. Rach and I would gradually text less and less as time went on, and after a month and a half, we had stopped talking entirely. We had "made plans" that I would go to a neighboring college the next semester, and would therefore be able to copulate again. She never thought to realize that even if I did end up there, I would find new girls, and wouldn't be going there because of there to see her, but rather because they have a strong department in a subject I'm very interested in. Maybe she did realize this or maybe she deluded herself into thinking we would actually see again. Either way, it doesn't matter, because both of us have gone our separate ways, and now remain nothing but a string of memories to each other. Memories which, ironically, we can't remember because we were always drunk.

The lucidity of this night remains clear to me, relative to the rest of my college experience. Are there life lessons to be learned from this? Maybe, maybe not. I haven't reflected too much on the experience. The only thing I've learned for sure from this is that you can never trust a hoe to ever be more than a hoe.