Indulging in False Realities

Just Love Will Open Our Eyes

The title sounds a little cryptic, but why not; the original title was "Why Books Are Incredible," which I thought sounded a little too plain. I had the original idea for this post on 12/21/13, but never got around to actually typing it. If you were wondering about the quote at the top of the page, that's a new feature I'm going to add to musings. Musings aren't very much fun to type, but I feel they're important. A musing on this blog generally consists of my exploration into a topic that has recently piqued my interest; it's something that I do all of the time, but the tiresome part is transcribing my thoughts into paper, or in this case, data. The quote will be from whatever song I'm listening to when I start typing the musing as a treat to myself, in this case, Pig by Dave Matthews.
False Realities encompass, obviously, all interpretations of the world surrounding us that are not based in our Primary Reality. Art, for example, is a false reality. Both literature and music fit the description perfectly. Even the news tentatively fits into this categorization; although the news, ideally, is a factual report of real events that have happened, the way in which the news is presented makes it a false reality. People's realities, as per extension, are false realities, clouded by bias and subjugated by our feeble minds; this isn't necessarily a shot against humanity, but rather an acknowledgment that the world does not objectively exist as we perceive it. Our own perceptions of reality are false; however, our perceived realities are also our Primary Realities, and as such exists as the Real Reality to our subjective viewpoint. As confusing as that may sound, put more simply (And inaccurately), a False Reality is a Reality we observe through an external agent, and Real Reality is what we observe through an internal agent. This isn't to say Real Reality is superior to False Reality; far from it. While False Reality is easily manipulated and distorted, it can more often be miscommunicated. How many times have you been in a position where you've understood something better than you've been able to explain it? Real only exists to the Perceiver. The meaning of a song to the listener is only what it means to the listener, which seems fallacious at first; why isn't what the writer of the song intended it to mean the meaning of the song to the listener? That's because the songwriter's meaning isn't real to the listener. If the songwriter has a discussion with the listener, and converts the listener to his vantage point, than the songwriter's meaning has become real to the listener. There's nothing wrong with this, because what's real can change. Reality is NOT more objective than Falsehood. So, what does this have to do with "Why Books Are Incredible?" Our Realities are incredibly limited. We can do anything, but we can't do everything, and there are experiences that we will, ultimately, not be able to experience on our own. As such, there are viewpoints we will never get to see, lessons we will never get to learn, and memories we will never get to have. False Realities do a great job of allowing us to experience more (Although not really experience more). As much as I want to get kicked out of an all-black college to which I had a full scholarship for almost killing the founder, almost die working in a Paint factory, lead a miniature uprising for a Communist Party in Harlem with my oration, and eventually flee into the sewers to avoid being arrested by Policemen who suspect that I am a looter during a Harlem Riot, I will never get to do that. As such, the closest I can get to doing this is by reading Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. While I never will get the full experience by reading this book, I can begin to understand it. As much as I want to live on the Jersey Shore in a house with my closest friends and enemies, partying with full-celebrity status, I will never get to experience this. As such, the closest I can get to doing this is by watching The Jersey Shore. These are experiences I will likely never have. If I want to see what it's like to drop acid or have a threesome, I have two choices; experience through secondhand opinion, or do it myself. A False Reality can never replace the Real Reality. However, the Real Reality is severely limited, and is supplemented by occasional indulgence in a False Reality. That is why books, art, literature, music, and the like are incredible. They may not replace the real thing, but they can take you places where Real Reality cannot. They can provide us with viewpoints we will never get to see, lessons we will never get to learn, and memories we will never get to have. Obviously the key here is moderation, because denial of Real Reality and subsequent escape into a False Reality leads to a destructive disconnect. However, as a supplement to Real Reality, as a servant to the master that is Real Reality, False Reality is incredible.
As I typed that last sentence, I remembered a great scene from the movie Good Will Hunting, where Robin Williams, while pondering over a serene pond or something gay like that, says to Matt Damon:

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right: 'Once more into the breach, dear friends.' But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, and watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of Hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sittin' up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms 'visiting hours' don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.

I look at you. I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, 'cause I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say.

Required Reading, although somewhat unrelated. Don't confuse a False Reality with Hyperreality, and don't indulge so far in False Reality that it becomes Hyperreality. Life isn't fun living in Hyperreality. I've attempted to read Simulacra and Simulation before, but put it aside for another time. I barely understood what was being said, and it took a long time just to read a single page. I was actually originally drawn to the reading after I read the Story of the Eye, a relatively short work, and incredibly messed up, but nonetheless a fantastic work. Simulacra and Simulation was actually one of the original inspirations for the movie The Matrix, and this book was required reading for all actors in the Matrix, although the author of Simulacra and Simulation has publicly stated that The Matrix is a wrongful interpretation and distortion of his work. If you want to take a crack at Simulacra and Simulation, go for it. If you want a sample of the text:

The simulacrum is never what hides the truth - it is truth that hides the fact that there is none. The simulacrum is true. 

-Ecclesiastes  

If once we were able to view the Borges fable in which the cartographers of the Empire draw up a map so detailed that it ends up covering the territory exactly (the decline of the Empire witnesses the fraying of this map, little by little, and its fall into ruins, though some shreds are still discernible in the deserts - the metaphysical beauty of this ruined abstraction testifying to a pride equal to the Empire and rotting like a carcass, returning to the substance of the soil, a bit as the double ends by being confused with the real through aging) - as the most beautiful allegory of simulation, this fable has now come full circle for us, and possesses nothing but the discrete charm of second-order simulacra.

That's the first paragraph. Have fun.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

My best friend as a kid was named Dan. Dan and I met in 4th grade, after my best friend at the time had moved. We were united by a fervor for both pokemon and yugioh at the time. When we hung out, we would play video games, watch movies, and generally keep it lowkey; however, we never really went outside much. As we started getting older, around 7th and 8th grade, we still never really hung out at the mall, hung out with girls, or any of that, preferring to isolate ourselves through video games and TV. We remained best friends up until High School, when I went away to a private school while he stayed at public school. We intended to remain friends in High School, but after going to a Metallica concert together as freshman, we started to drift apart. I hadn't seen Dan since I was a Freshman, and I didn't have any plans last night, so I decided to message him and see if he wanted to hang out. We made plans to meet at his house around 5:30.
Dan's a short kid, and he's a little chubby. He stands about 5'5, but weighs around 180 lbs. He also talks a little weird, but has always been a genuinely nice kid. When he met me at the door, I noticed he'd grown a beard. We chatted for a minute before I came inside his house, where I was met by his mom, also a genuinely nice person. After an initial reminisce, Dan and I headed to his basement, where we had spent much of our childhoods. The basement was about the same as I remembered it, except his old TV had been replaced with a nice flatscreen, and his sister had collected a miniature home studio, complete with amps, guitars, and microphones. Dan was very talkative at first, but after about 30 minutes conversation became more strained, because we realized we didn't have much in common. We spent the night watching Ted, and watching a few episodes of Family Guy and American Dad.
Dan never really outgrew video games, pokemon, and all of that. He talked about video games, anime, and TV almost as if he used it as an escape from reality. I was surprised to learn that he wrestled in High School at the 152 lb weight class, but in the short few months since he graduated High School, he's managed to gain 30 lbs, and not of muscle. I touched on the idea of girls with him, but the conversation was short. He told me he hasn't had much luck with girls, but not for a lack of trying. He added near the end of the conversation that he thinks that his beard is the reason he can't get a girlfriend, like all of his friends have. In terms of any extracurricular activity, it seems as if he doesn't have much. His average day seems to consist of school followed by video games; he didn't have many interests outside of those two things.
There's nothing wrong with Dan. Once you get past how he presents himself, he's just like any other person. The issue with Dan is that he hasn't experienced as much of life as he should've, through no fault of his own. He was never a popular kid, an many experiences of life had been denied to him through peer exclusion. He decided to fill his time with something to escape from reality, namely video games and TV. I was the same way in Middle School, but as I've experienced more and more of the real world, I've grown to like it more and more. Although it's not something everyone necessarily has to like, I prefer life to virtual reality. I'm not going to try to change Dan to make him more like me; he's his own unique person, and it's up to him to go through his unique life path. I'm not going to tell him how to get girls, I'm not going to tell him how to be cooler, how to be more fashionable, or how to do anything of that nature. I'm not going to tell him to go to the gym more often, to be friendlier, or to stop watching anime. Maybe he will achieve all of these things through imitation, but it's none of my business to change these things. I'm going to hang out with Dan more often, and treat him just like any one of my other friends. I plan on hitting him up to go to the mall soon; here's to he and I being friends again.

Entrepreneurship

Growing up in my life, I've been lucky to have my younger brother. We used to fight a lot and not get along as much, but in all honesty he's a great kid. And while he's awful at traditional "inside the box" classroom thinking, he is incredibly gifted at handling other people, and is also a natural salesman. Two years ago, when he was a High School freshman, he started a mini-business, mass buying candy and selling it to his friends at school. He failed miserably, but this showcases how his mind has always been. In the summer before his sophomore year, he became interested in buying and selling Jordan's. For those who don't know, Jordan's are shoes made of $20 of material by Chinese children and sold in America for $200 because of the logo. Different shoes are released sporadically in incredibly limited quantities, running almost entirely on the principle of supply and demand. Originally, my brother talked me into funding his idea when he needed extra money: he would do the work, and throw me a pair of sneakers every once in a while. The first sneakers we bought were from a random guy we found on Craigslist; he was about 30 years old, and sold us a pair of Military 4s and Blackcat 4s for $180 so that he could buy the soon to be released Fire Red 4s.

Each Jordan release (e.g. 3s, 6s, 11s) relies on the its release's design plan, with slight modifications (military 4s are blue and white, fire red 4s are close to the same but red instead of blue, etc...) So we started out with about $280 worth of shoes that we paid $180 for. We eventually found a Facebook group of kids selling and trading kicks, and became active. Our second purchase was $50 and the Blackcat 4s for a pair of copper foamposites. We then found a kid offer eggplant foams for an Xbox 360. We were really excited at the prospect of trading our spare xbox 360 for a pair of eggplant foams, but when we inspected the foams, we found out they were fake and ended the deal.

We also found a couple of great deals on worn down kicks, paying under $80 for each of them. By the time our collection grew to 6 strong, I told my brother I was taking full ownership of the military 4s. I said he could do whatever he wanted to the other shoes, but the 4s would always stay as my personal pair.. A week or so later, I slept over my friends house for a few days. I came home to find out that my brother sold the military 4s for $100, so he could go to Six Flags (the fact he sold the 4s below market value bothered me in and of itself). I was incensed, and told him I was out of the business and he had to reimburse me, as well as replace the military 4s. We came to a deal where he gave me some money, the copper foams, and a pair of fire red 4s, and from that point on we went our separate ways.

We are now a year and a half since he started his shoe trading business. Since then, I've made a few trades with him for new shoes, and get good deals because we're blood related. However, in the truest sense of a hustler, my brother can be brutal in taking advantage of kids who don't know what they're doing. Since that original investment of $180, my brother now has a collection of about 12 shoes, including much coveted sneakers like Bred 11s, Olympic 7s, Lebron South Beach 9s, and dead stock (never worn) Concords.

His shoe collection, which is probably worth about 3,000 right now, is impressive considering he's invested about 500 of his own (and my) dollars into it. This also isn't including when he sells his kicks when he needs his money for something, and when he's traded sneakers for things other than sneakers (Such as for beats). Is this atypical for someone who trades kicks? In all honesty, it isn't. I know a kid who has about 60 pairs of sneakers, and the connections to get any pair he wants. He used to sell them in my High School, and was the go to guy for any fashion accessories, from belts to sunglasses. These people, the successful entrepreneurs, exploit market inefficiencies.  

Why do I bring this up? Because market inefficiencies are all around us; most of the world we live in can be broken down into financial terms. Want a girl? Go to a place where you have the least demand (Competition both in terms of quantity and quality), and the most supply (Single, or at least willing, girls). People can monetize anything (Although many things aren't worth monetizing). For example, the drug market works in this way. Someone (A supplier), buys massive quantities of a certain drug, and sells it to dealers at an inflated price (Who then sell their product at an inflated price). Collectable items such as baseball cards work in this way as well; certain cards have insane disparities between actual value and what someone is willing to pay for it. Cars operate in this fashion, and if you know how to work on cars, you can make some serious money on them. Living so close to my brother, I can watch a naturally great salesman at work; here is what's necessary to be successful in this type of model. Here are the keys (In descending order of importance)

• Know your market

You have to know the worth of what you're selling (Or trying to get), where the best places to sell or buy it are, and how to tell if something is real or fake. The more information you have on this, the easier it is to take advantage (If it's your cup of tea) of people who don't know what they're doing, and the harder it is for you to be taken advantage of.

• Reputation

I'm counting connections in here, but it's easy to make connections. It's much more difficult to make great connections, but that is what you strive to do, and good connections aren't going to do business with you if you're a scammer, liar, incompetent, lazy, or inconsistent. We all strive to be in a position where we have so much business that we have to turn it away. When I interned at a private investment firm, I learned about the Strattonites, and read the book The Wolf of Wall Street. In all reality, the firm was a complete scam, where they pumped and dumped the market. On the inside, the firm was rotting. But to the outside viewer, this was an investment firm which brought consistent returns no matter what the condition of the market was, with people who seemed like successful rockstars of the investment world (If I remember correctly, it was mandatory to drive a sports car if you wanted to work there). They had so many people wanting to invest with them that they actually turned people away on a fairly regular basis. The air of exclusivity created by this actually made the Strattonites more in demand. The same happens with so many things. Girls will crawl over each other for a shot at someone in the same position that the Strattonites were in. Jordan is marketed so well, that kids will look at who's wearing what, and buy them to be like their idols (Whether it be celebrities, or the popular kids, or whoever it may be).

• Common Sense

Don't put yourself into a position where you put yourself at a disadvantage. Identify the markets best to be exploited, and when to conserve your resources. I remember one night where my friend and I was ran into a group of mutual friends, with three boys and three girls. We flirted with the girls, but it wasn't going anywhere with the other guys lurking. My friend and I talked about it, and decided to bring everyone to a party where we knew everyone. We made it our plan to alienate the guys, and eventually made them leave. With the girls by themselves, we had a nice group of two guys and three girls. My friend took a girl and went his own way, and left me with the two girls. I managed to make out with the girl I wanted, but the other girl was upset she didn't have a guy anymore, and wasn't up for a threesome. When I realized nothing was going to happen, I left in the middle of making out with my girl without saying a word. They called for me to come back, but I just ignored them and trudged onward. What's the moral of this story? If you're the three guys with your girls, and you see two guys trying to assimilate with your group, don't let them into your group. You'll end up having to go jerk off that night. Do not put yourself in a position where you're at a significant disadvantage. On a sidenote, don't ever make yourself desperate for a sale/purchase, you'll end up being screwed over.

• Plan of Attack

Anything with sales isn't for the light-hearted. If you're selling shoes, you have to know what you want, you cannot defer to the other person for the final price. Decisiveness is important, and if you see a worthwhile business venture, it's important to go for it. Going after dead leads, or things with a limited reward in comparison to what you can get elsewhere, won't necessarily help. But if you see what you think is a great deal, you have to at least go for it. My brother won't bother with most of the people looking to sell him sneakers. However, if he sees a kid selling a pair of sneakers at a price much lower than market value, my brother forges a deal immediately. Decisiveness is so important, you have to know what you want, not kind of know what you want.

There are a number of other factors involved in being a successful salesman, such as topics which address the sale itself (Likability, Contrast Principle, etc...), but the most important thing is to put yourself in a position to succeed (Either by finding something which you will naturally be in a position to succeed in, or making the conditions within the environment). These four points are the most important things to making that happen.

The Ten Most Important Things in Music Production

• Become Familiar with All Music

All music has artistic value. Whether it be the energy of House, the lyricism of Rap, or the smoothness of Jazz, don't be afraid to expand your horizons. No matter which genres you are interested in creating, or even if you are just a casual music listener, this is one of the most important aspects of music. Every musical experience brings something new. It's not necessary to like every genre, but you should know them. At the very least, you may find something you've never seen before, possibly even a sample that's been passed over at some point. There's so much music out there, and most of it is pretty good. Learn your classics, what shaped the music you listen to now. Listen to the Beatles, listen to Elvis, listen to Jimi Hendrix, listen to Run DMC, listen to Miles Davis, listen to Biggie, even listen to Beethoven. See what you think of it. A great music producer listens to more diverse music than anyone else alive. As I type this, I'm listening to Inner City Blues by Marvin Gaye. 

• Learn an Instrument

Mastering, mixing, and even a lot of production can be done without ever learning an instrument. If you plan on becoming a rapper, you can easily do so without ever picking up an instrument. But learning an instrument is exhilarating. It's not easy to play an instrument well, but the effort that goes into learning one is well worth it . Once you can play an instrument, you begin to see music in a whole new way. Playing songs that you like, you can pick up on patterns you've never noticed before. The best instrument to start off with is piano. You will learn everything you will ever need to know about music from a piano, and every instrument you try playing after will come to you more easily. Guitar is also something very good to learn how to play, but after those two instruments, the sky's the limit. Learn whichever instrument captures your imagination. As I type this, I'm listening to Alien Days by MGMT.

• Learn Music Theory

Almost an extension of learning an instrument, music theory is really learning what sounds good. It's simple to do and easy to look up. It quantizes what you may have noticed playing music, maybe making it easier for you to put into the words. I can't do anything but promote guitarjamz.com for this. The creator gives out an obscene amount of free stuff, and he gives arguably the best guitar lessons you can find on youtube for free. If you are willing to pay, you can take online guitar lessons. As I type this, I'm listening to Diary by Free the Robots.

• Obtain a High-Quality DAW

The digital audio workstation is the single most important thing in contemporary production. The higher quality ones are expensive, as are some of the plug-ins, but well worth it. From the DAW, you can record and edit audio, create MIDI data, and do just about anything your heart desires from a musical standpoint. I recommend Logic Pro X, it's relatively inexpensive at only $200, and was released just this year. However, do some original research and determine which one appeals most to you. DAWs such as FL Studio, Pro Tools, and Ableton Live each offer a great product. Don't skimp on your DAW, because it's where you will do most of your work. As I type this, I'm listening to Years by Alesso.

• Learn about the Mechanics of Music Production

Once you have a DAW, it is important to learn what everything does. It can be a little overwhelming, but once you get past it, producing is a lot of fun. Don't start producing yet; I made that mistake as soon as I got my first DAW. It's not that it's impossible to use a DAW without knowing how a compressor functions, but if you are looking for a high quality product, learn about it. The best way to do this is to take an online course on music production. The course will help categorize everything, and will create a strong foundation. You can also learn about a lot of important fundamentals in music production from the internet, using sites such as wikipedia. I find wikipedia is helpful when researching musical concepts such as Fletcher-Munson curves. Knowing what everything means is important, and while you will likely never need to know the difference between dbfs and dbspl, it's always good to know, and can help clear up any confusion. While these two methods can supplement learning, the most important things however always remains to go into your DAW and figure out what works for you. Play with the compressor and each of the knobs on it, play with the flanger, the chorus, see what works with what. If you don't know what something does, play with it until you can figure it out. As a rule, you're better off not beginning to produce music until you have an idea of what most of the knobs do, and know what the most fundamental plug-ins do, in this case, dynamic effects (Modify amplitude, such as compressors), filter effects (Modify frequency, including EQ), and delay effects (Create space, such as reverb, chorus, flanger, etc...). At some point, it will also be a good idea to get into synthesis (Creating your own synthesizers). Synthesis can be very confusing, especially on the better DAWs and synthesizers, but being able to have full control over the timbre of your music can help transfer the music you want to paper more cleanly. As I type this, I'm listening to He Comes by De La Soul ft. Ghostface Killah.

• Purchase a Pair of High-Quality Headphones

The higher the quality of the headphones, the better it is. Some lower quality headphones won't pick every sound up clearly. Expect to shell out big money for a very good pair, preferably over-the-head. When I produce, I use Beats Pro, but there are tons of studio quality headphones out there. The first time I listened to music with them, I was surprised by how much I missed in music. As an example, when I was listening to O.K. by Mac Miller and Tyler the Creator, I never realized that the comments that come after some of the rhymes in the verses. Good headphones will make well-produced music sound good, and poorly-produced music sound terrible. The headphones aren't so much as important when writing lyrics (For lyric writing, I either use Beats Solo or speakers), but when producing, picking up every little sound is imperative. Try to avoid sound-enhancing headphones for producing, such as most Beats Headphones, because they will distort certain frequencies. Beats Solo headphones, for example, boosts the bass almost 10 decibels from 10hz to 160hz. Like the DAW, this is definitely not something to skimp on. As I type this, I'm listening to O.K. by Mac Miller ft. Tyler the Creator.

• Train your Ear

Learn to listen to music as it was written. Start to notice what instruments compliment each other, what the main loops are in music, how the lyrics match up with the instrumental. Try to notice which instrument the focus is on at a certain point, and ask yourself how the artist creates that effect. Does another instrument drop out? Think of all of the feelings you experience during the music, and think about what makes you feel that way. Don't just listen to music for the lyrics; not that lyrics are bad in any way, but try to notice the small things on the track that make it what it is. As I type this, I'm listening to Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones.

• Subscribe to a Good Magazine

Out of all of the bullet points, this is arguably the least important one. However, music production magazines can open your mind, while simultaneously teaching you the smaller things you won't necessarily learn otherwise. Sound on Sound is the cream of the crop here. You can subscribe to all their articles online for $36 a month. If you're not interesting in doing so, definitely look up old articles on soundonsound.com and musicradar.com. As I type this, I'm listening to What I Got by Sublime

• The Most Important Thing to Keep in Mind

The most important thing I've learned about music production is to keep in mind that you're creating a piece of music, not a musical piece. It's important to keep in mind the grand scheme of what's going on when creating music. It's so easy to get lost with the ease of adding effects to sounds to make them sound great individually, but getting them to fit with everything else is the important thing. Creating music is completely subjective. A hardcore drumline fits in better in an aggressive death metal song than it does in a country song, no matter how cool it sounds alone. When producing, try to keep the instruments out of each others way. Don't allow frequencies to mix to the point that it creates a masking effect, unless that's the sound you're going for. Give your music width. A great tip to keep in mind is that the ear generally is attracted to the highest frequency, and the middle and higher frequencies are the ones you can have more control over. A bass line, drums, and the lower frequency instruments should generally stay in the center of a mix, not be messed with too much, etc... However, when it comes to high end sounds, play with the pan control, add effects. Try to create a focus at each point in your music, and have the rest of the mix compliment the focus at that time. Guide the listener through the music. While I'm on this topic, I'd suggest listening to Drawing by Linkin Park. This was a demo created by Mike Shinoda before he became famous, and eventually turned into the song Breaking the Habit. This instrumental is crafted so perfectly, that lyrics actually get in the way of it. Listen to how you can easily isolate each sound if you focus on it, and how each sound blends well with each other. There are two loops that continue on throughout the entire song (The descending sound from the beginning of the song, and the sound that enters at 0:20). if you hear any of the instrument tracks alone, none of them will necessarily impress you the way, say, the lead synth in the chorus of the song Levels by Avicii will. But taken as a whole, and Drawing is a great piece of music. As I type this, I'm listening to Sleep Now in the Fire by Rage Against the Machine.

• Enjoy Producing

There's not much else to say. Producing is a lot of work, and if you're focused only on the end result, then it's not for you. You're going to have to learn to enjoy the process, each little part of producing, if you want to be a great musician/producer, especially today. Music will overcome a large portion of your day-to-day life if you take this route. Take myself for example, I'm always listening to music save for when I'm sleeping and playing hockey; on top of that, at a minimum I force myself to produce for a minimum of an hour a day no matter what is going on that day (Usually I end up doing more, especially on weekends when I'm not working, I find myself zoning out completely for 3-4 hours at a time), on top of practicing either piano or guitar every day, and writing lyrics. Take what I did today, an off day, for example: I woke up, produced for two hours, made breakfast, watched a rerun of a hockey game the night before, went to the gym for two hours, made lunch, read some of Nassem Taleb's The Black Swan, played guitar for an hour went out to eat and buy a new acoustic guitar, played the guitar for another two hours, made food, then typed this (Which surprisingly took almost two hours; I had the idea for it while I was working out). After this, I'm likely going to make a quick snack then write raps until I fall asleep. Tomorrow and the day after, my only plans are to finish writing the lyrics for a song I've been making (I've had massive writers block on this song, and have wasted a number of lyrics because they didn't fit into the grand scheme of the song; speaking of which, a good song idea would be a song about how many instrument tracks and lyrics are lost during the creation of a song) and then work on the nuances of the instrumental (I have a chorus, a main loop, a drum line for the verse, and I sampled Something in the Way by Nirvana to be used as the bass, but it surprisingly fits in well). Simply put, if you're not going to enjoy making music, don't bother making music. As I type this, I'm listening to Pig by Dave Matthews Band.

Pain

Pain inspires beauty. We crave pain, we need pain. Pain enables us to empathize with our fellow human beings. We grow through pain. Pain uproots us from toxic situations, pain precedes the next great thing. Pain separates us from automatons. Pain creates and pain destroys. Pain inspires. Pain has crafted some of the best music and art in the world, as well as the worst. Pain lets us breath. Pain hurts. Pain cannot be contained. When we experience true pain, we can't hide from it. We can try, but the pain will come. Pain disrupts our monotonous routines. Pain excites. Pain adds risk to love. If love was safe, it wouldn't be special. Pain follows from vulnerability. That much is simple, but the vulnerability is the elegance of it. Don't disrupt pain. The worst thing someone can do is to hide their emotions in a shell and tuck it away someplace where it will never be found. The reward is worth the pain, every single time. And when the pain comes, and it inevitably will, don't cower from it, bask in it. Let it out, break something, throw something, scream, cry, do something. It's all part of the human experience.

I cried when my father left my family, every day for a year. My mother always said I haven't cried since. Technically, she would be correct; I never physically cried again after that. But she doesn't know better. I cried when my great grandpa died. I cried when my first best friend moved away. I cried after a fight with my second ever best friend in middle school which severed our friendship. I cried every day for a month when I couldn't play hockey anymore because of financial problems. I cried when my first love broke my heart; that's how it happened, and don't let me convince you otherwise. I may feign a disinterest in her, but I would get back together with her in a heartbeat. I cried when my second love cheated on me. I cried when I got kicked out of college. I cried at the end of the movie Malice in Wonderland. And now, I'm crying over another girl who betrayed me and everything that we were. Of course, I ran out of tears when my father left; technically, my eyes have yet to procure a physical tear since. But the pain inside remains true, and as I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling contemplating what went wrong this time, I ultimately would never take the pain away at the expense of the experience.

I've dealt with my pain in a number of ways. I'm a very insecure person. I have highly narcissistic tendencies; the last time I took a test for it I scored in the 98th percentile. Narcissism is more or less an overcompensation for a deep sense of inferiority and insecurity. I dealt with heartbreaks in every way, from fucking everything that moves, to ignoring, to cutting ties permanently (yet it's funny how permanently never lasts longer than a week), to drinking and smoking my pain away. None of this solves the problem, it just hides it. I'm lonely if I'm not constantly talking to someone. I have to stay up until 2 am texting a girl every night; if I don't, I feel like a loser. I'm always texting somebody, and when no one responds instantaneously, I find myself lost in my thoughts, questioning my self-worth. I know, and have known for quite some time, that I seek external validation, primarily sexually. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16, but I had sex a week later. I felt inferior to my friends until then, friends whos bravado screamed "look at me, I get it in." Now I'm good with girls. They're really not hard to figure out. But am I any happier? I seek out sluts because they're the ones who provide my validation the quickest. Fucking a girl the night you meet her is the ultimate ego boost. I always like to play the game "can I finger her before I kiss her." The girls I've messed with have already tainted my view of females. At times, I deal with my problems by trying to shove them into the back of my mind. This just leads to frequent outbursts, and more pain. Sometimes I work out, sometimes I listen to music. 

The big issue only appears when we try to mask our pain. We should not be seeking out pain. We should try to avoid pain, and seek happiness. However, in many cases, pain is the risk of happiness, and when we inevitably stare the face of emotional injury in the eyes, it is best to accept it as just another experience in this great big game we call existence.

The Message

There are many messages. Many will try to deceive you. Many will attempt to lead you astray, knowing fully that it is in the best interests of others for you to fail. But from the many messages, there is a true one. It will be dressed in different clothing and given to you in many forms, hoping one of its appearances will stick in your mind and teach you the secrets to life. There are no quick fixes. You are not special. There is no extended meaning. Things are what they are, and you can never change that. Accept it, and learn to optimize it, rather than dwell on it. You are not beholden to your circumstances, but rather you are responsible for your disposition towards them. Define your own reality, and create your own identity. Do not accept what isn't as what is.

It Always Counts

I recently listened to a girl, parading around her sex life, flat out deny a part of it, declaring that "it didn't count." Bewildered, I told the story to a few friends, expecting them to produce the same reaction I did. Instead, they shared stories of their own friends, who apparently also crossed out meaningful portions of their life that are unflattering to themselves. I get the feeling this phenomena extends itself further than just a few isolated incidents. Sluts everywhere manipulate their past in order to make their own reality more appealing. Would it have counted if it ended differently? How many months pregnant would she have to be for it to have counted? Would it count after a living being crawls out of her vagina, or would you be able to uncount it by immediately proceeding to drown the newborn infant? This philosophy undermines a problematic approach towards life in today's society. Too many people today only put effort into something if it counts for something, or can have some tangible benefit. The problem is, every single second of your life that has occurred so far, is occurring now, or will occur, counts. It doesn't matter if anyone is looking or not. It doesn't matter if it's "just practice." Everything counts. It always counts. Every single second you sit at home watching tv counts. Every relationship you've ever made, no matter how forgettable, counts. Every relationship you've ever had, no matter how abhorrent, counts. And every time you go on a blog searching for self-improvement, reading the same message dressed in different clothing, counts. "Make every moment count," they say. Every moment already counts. The onus is on you to make that moment worth something. Figure things out yourself, in the long run you'll understand it better. Everything in life is based off of one constant: how much work are you willing to put in?

Smart Phones are an Instrument of Laziness

I was recently thinking about how I could keep living expenses down significantly while enjoying the experience of life. The TV is expensive and not necessary, but I doubt I'd get rid of it. Nevertheless I've sworn to myself to limit TV consumption, which in turn would force me to find more productive things to do with my time. My next idea on how to save money is to switch from a smart phone to a cheap flip phone, which can't be done due to social purposes at this point. But it got me thinking, these things that were made to make our lives simpler have all but consumed our lives. We no longer have to remember anything, just set an alert. If we have a thought, make a note an expand on it when we have the time. If we want to talk to someone, text (which I'm noticing isn't used as much anymore), or now FaceTime and/or Facebook group chat. Horny? Limitless access to the Internet means a limitless amount of porn, the bane of our society. We could also sext with others over snapchat. Smart phones are consuming every aspect of our life, and it is counterproductive to our evolution as a species. Now insignificant things in our own social circles take on Orwellian significance for short periods of time, before our short intention spans focus with the definition of a laser on the next "thing." Important things, such as what has been happening to Edward Snowden, fall out of the mainstream as fast as they came into it. I'm curious as to how many people remember his name, or even what the PRISM project was. Remember how many people swore to keep their online activity more secretive since then? How many people actually followed through?

In depicting smartphones as these things that ruin our perceptions and experiences in life, I'm being utterly unfair to smartphones. Smartphones, if used properly, can be the greatest leap in technology in human achievement so far. Using a smartphone, you can teach yourself how to play guitar (which I did). You have the ability to learn any of a number of languages at your fingertips. You can consume a large amount of information in a relatively short period of time, you can learn how to dance, how to sing, how to do anything you can dream of. The issue here is, the smartphone doesn't do any of the work for you, it only gives you the opportunity to do these things for yourself. We live in a time in which we can achieve personal growth, where the axiom "the sky is the limit" cannot hold true because there truly is no limit. We also live in a time in which we are collectively lazier than any humans at any other time in history. These smartphones are our modus operandi for reaching great heights. But we must remember that it is still only a tool, and we must do all of the work ourselves. 

Staying True to Yourself

Life is full of lessons, there's such an inane amount of knowledge to be acquired and stored in our feeble minds that it is foolish to try to remember it all. Unless we luck out with a photographic memory, we're left with a limited capacity with which to store our foremost thoughts. We have the ability to remember more, but most of it will be stuck somewhere in the Netherlands of our minds, never to resurface without a deep excursion. Out of the knowledge we have remaining, we must learn to prioritize what's the most important, and grow as humans to fulfill an identity we must create for ourselves. In this pursuit, sometimes we may lose sight of the most important thing of all; our own self. Embrace the inner value found within yourself, and shun the desire to seek outside validation. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes a good servant, and a bad master. Acceptance is something we allow ourselves to become a slave of, much in the same way an alcoholic craves his poison, or how a gambling addict continues to prod the thrill of the risk, to his own downfall. If you have a belief, stick to it. Don't force it down someone's throat, but don't allow others to spit on your ideals because you fear the repercussions. If you desire something, speak up. You may be ridiculed and rejected for it, but there is no chance you'll get what you want if you don't make an effort for it. And most importantly, find motivation within yourself. Find what you enjoy, and do it. That doesn't mean smoke weed everyday because "it feels good." In fact, living a life based loosely on unrestricted hedonism is a recipe for disaster, both in a country and in an individual. Do what makes you happy, and you will be happy. Don't fall prey to societal pressures to do what others think will make you happy. Love (note, not like) fishing but don't live near water? Move somewhere where you can fish. You may be pressured by others to revoke your decision, saying you can't do it, but in all honesty, you can. Do you party and act a player because your friends do, but feel empty inside? Then don't party as much. You can even stop partying whatever. Don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to. Grow a backbone. Because you're the only one who can know what you want until you decide to speak up and communicate your desires to others. And that won't happen until you make it happen.

On this topic, I'd like to mention the law of sunk costs. Whether it's actually an official philosophical concept, I don't know. If something is a sunk cost, ignore the cost of it. If you buy tickets to a concert and come concert time you don't want to go and can't find anyone to take the tickets, don't feel like you have to go because you paid for it. It's a sunk cost. Whether you go or not, you're not getting that money back. So don't let the price you paid for something influence your decision surrounding it.

The Englightenment

1. I am God. Reality exists only as perceived by me, at least to me. If I don't exist, nothing exists without me. Other people's opinions are a result of their interpretation of realty, but my reality is unique and exists only to me. I must forge my own identity in order to determine my own reality. All we are is life, trying to survive. Identity is important, and I must ultimately decide everything myself.

2. There is a level of trust that you can reach with someone. Once you reach it, you can't keep bsing someone or trying to get them. You have to be yourself.

3. Everything is one. If I perceive everything, it is part of my reality. Anything I perceive as my reality is me because it is created by my mind. Without my mind it wouldn't exist to me. Since my reality is part of my brain, it is part of me. Therefore everything is me.

4.There are two types of people in the world. Those who create their own reality and those who seek to be part of someone's else's reality. If you create your own reality there is no insecurity. Anything that is just is. When you conform to someone else's, you have to correlate your own to theirs. That stems insecurity.

5. Everything in life is a contradiction.

6. Everything in life that isn't in your immediate reality is based off of perception. Nothing can be perceived 100% truly. However, the longer something is perceived, the closer the truth  is revealed about it.

7. Life is more about the experiences than the end results.

8. The negatives in life can't hold you back from the positives. You can't worry so much about something happening that you forget to have fun. Yeah you can get hurt but its not something you should be anticipating. Some people lose so much trust in others they forget how to have fun. You just do, you don't focus on the bad things in life. Life can be a blessing, don't stress it.

9. Don't throw your own identity away for nothing.