Tuesday, October 22, 2013

My Last Day at College

My first college experience didn't start well. Two weeks of nonstop partying left me with nothing but a loose clique, a restraining order against my primary fuckbuddy, and four charges against me, ranging from harassment to violence. Neither my main bitch, Rach, or I, wanted a restraining order, so we just ignored it. I don't remember much from the beginning of the day, it was just typical classes, bullshit, enjoying myself as usual.  Near the end of the day, I Iearned that I didn't make the main roster for the hockey team at the school; the cards were always stacked against me, having 8 returning defenseman already on the roster. Nevertheless, any excuse to drink remains a good excuse to drink. My main fuckbuddy asked me if she could pick up a bottle from the kid I got into a fight with a few days before, I didn't really care. It bothered me that she wouldn't suck my dick before going, but she did put her mouth on my shaft before leaving, so I took solace in that small victory. I proceeded to smoke with her best friend, making her buy the dime. The awkwardness in the air was so thick I could've cut through it with a knife. When we were done, we returned to the campus to meet up with Rach, who brought along a bottle of svedka vodka. It was shit, and I didn't drink much, my mind preoccupied with how she procured this bottle. Maybe she sucked his cock for it, maybe she fucked for it, but it was obvious they didn't buy it. I could taste the cock on her lips the first time we kissed, and I didn't kiss her again for the rest of the night. I ended up spending the entire night thinking about what was next. I already decided that I wasn't fucking Rach that night, and likely wasn't going to fuck her from that point forward. After drinking with some friends, I walked her back to her room, under the pretense that we would fuck. I was planning on leaving and hitting up another girl during this time. However, everything was complicated when her bitchy RA intercepted us in the hall, proclaiming with her paramount authority that the RA of another dorm had previously reported us for excessive drunkenness. Rach stubbornly acted like a drunk slut would, and it ended up with her RA calling Public Safety, despite my obstinate pleas to the contrary. I left, although Rach begged me to come back. They transported her to the hospital to detox, while I returned to the friends we were with before. During this time I began to worry for her safety, and began texting her incessantly, begging for a health update. After five unanswered texts, I was convinced she died or was in a coma and texted her I love you to see if she would answer. After no answer, I ended up in a somewhat depressed state. I ultimately decided against(?) the wishes of the girls who's room I was in that I was sleeping there. I started out sleeping on the floor, and once again decided to sleep in the bed of one of the girls, Gina, who was a virgin. She offered protests to the contrary, but I got the impression from her if I actually was planning to do something with her, she would go for it. She repeatedly said she wasn't "comfortable with this because I was with Rach," (complete bullshit on her part, I hu with her best friend in front of her the day before) probably looking for permission or denial from me. I toyed with the idea of hooking up with her, but was too depressed at the time because Rach ended up in the hospital and decided to just fall asleep while aggressively cuddling her (does such a thing exist?) 
I woke up at 4am, and checked my phone to about 8 calls from Rach. I called her back, and heard her phone going off in the room I was in. She actually ended up sleeping in the same room as I did. Ecstatic, I went to her, where her friend, angry that I woke her up, kicked us both out. After a mini journey trying to find my room key (it was in the mess hall, where a stray employee happened to be at 4:30 am just in time to return it to me) we went back to my room and fell into unconsciousness. The next time I would wake up, I would be being escorted by public safety to the Dean of students to subsequently be removed from the college. Rach and I would gradually text less and less as time went on, and after a month and a half, we had stopped talking entirely. We had "made plans" that I would go to a neighboring college the next semester, and would therefore be able to copulate again. She never thought to realize that even if I did end up there, I would find new girls, and wouldn't be going there because of there to see her, but rather because they have a strong department in a subject I'm very interested in. Maybe she did realize this or maybe she deluded herself into thinking we would actually see again. Either way, it doesn't matter, because both of us have gone our separate ways, and now remain nothing but a string of memories to each other. Memories which, ironically, we can't remember because we were always drunk.
The lucidity of this night remains clear to me, relative to the rest of my college experience. Are there life lessons to be learned from this? Maybe, maybe not. I haven't reflected too much on the experience. The only thing I've learned for sure from this is that you can never trust a hoe to ever be more than a hoe.

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