First of all, I deleted all of the journal entries. I decided that is too personal, and for future reference if something happens that needs to be shared, I will recount the story to the best of my ability (100% accurate). It will still be under the "Dear Diary" category. The obscure reference comes from the refrain in the song Free the Robots by the late Capital Steez, the musician who primarily influenced both my interest in improving myself and in the spiritual. The Original Sample isn't too bad either.
Failure is the greatest thing that can happen to me. I love it. I crave it. It gives me such a high, although of the negative kind. Don't misunderstand me, I don't feel a sense of elation, and I'm not some masochistic/attention-deprived (depraved is more like it) freak who cuts myself either for the pain or the attention. I despise the criticism that accompanies failure, and the harshest criticism often comes from yours truly. However, it is from this failure in which I find the motivation to never fail again. The searing memories of the most intimate moments of my life, the times in which I felt utterly barren and exposed, unworthy of existence itself, those are the memories I draw upon when pushing for another rep in the gym, when I force myself to practice an extra thirty minutes of guitar, or look over a song I've just written, analyzing every line to improve the art by the smallest of margins. And while none of this shows up now, it will one day. And one day, failure will turn to success. And it's just that much sweeter when you have to work for it. Failure motivates a man. And failure is what can bring a man to reach his full potential.
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