Hypocritical

A long time ago, a friend of mine told me that "Any girl who has fucked a black guy is automatically off limits for me." Recently, I found out that friend had fucked the very girl he was talking about about a month later. Hypocrites are everywhere. While it's easy to dehumanize others, and rationalize the inferiority of the masses, we tend to forget that we all make up the masses. In reality, very few people stand out relative to others. Talk is cheap, but action is real. There is not a single person alive who does not, ideally, try to do what they believe makes them happiest. Talk, and thought, are easy; the ideal is achieved without any effort. If you could peer through a hypothetical window into someones mind, you can see their ideals. You can see the inner recesses of someone's thought, where that person "Is a good, caring person," "Doesn't gutter fuck," and "Always sticks by his friends." This person, however, may be fucking every girl who will give it up, may not be actively seeking to do good ("All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"), and may sell out his friends at the drop of a hat for something he so selfishly desires. The difference between what one says/thinks, and what one does, is called self-mastery. By mastering oneself, he can ultimately become the greatest person he can be, as defined by his subjective ideals. My most important ideals are as follows:

• Someone who works hard for his goals

I workout semi-consistently. Ideally, I want to go to the gym 4 times a week, and do ab-days twice a week away from the gym. Realistically, I go more about 3 times a week, and haven't had a bonafide ab-day in months. I haven't played hockey in a long time. While this is largely due to many outside circumstances, I haven't necessarily actively searched for ice whenever possible. I want to make music. I produce semi-consistently (Probably about 6 hours a week) and play probably about 10 hours a week, but have yet to finish an album, and have yet to do any vocal work. I should've produced by now today; however, after coming back from the gym, I had an hour to kill before heading to a Christmas Party. I decided to kill it off by playing guitar instead. After coming back, I went to go eat, and after eating, had diarrhea. Perfect chance to stay home and produce. However, after eating, I played NHL14 for two hours, while listening to the whole album "Torches," as well as the whole album "Watching Movies with the Sound Off." Following that, I put on a facial mask, then bullshitted around for about two hours on the internet. I finally decided to force myself to write a blog post, and here I am now, at 10:34 P.M., without having produced at all.
Hypocrite Rating-3.5/10. I can work for what I want, but have problems maintaining a proper work ethic and spend way too much time bullshitting around. I am somewhat hypocritical here

• Someone who is desired by others

Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not. I can't control other people. This is a stupid one. I need to stop being dependent on the approval of others.
Hypocrite Rating-8.0/10. I shouldn't be beholden to others like this.

• Someone who remains true to his ideology, no matter the circumstance

I've fucked girls who were below my standards before. There have been times where I have stood up for what I've believed in; what comes to mind is three years ago, I argued against about 8 friends that God existed, being the only person arguing for God. Nevertheless, I seem to have problems standing up for myself when something isn't as forthright. If there's an open diss to my sense of self, I have no problem defending myself, but with something subtle where it's not as certain, I can be hesitant.
Hypocrite Rating-4.0/10.

• Someone who is capable of anything he wants to do

I'm incredibly gifted. I was born with a slightly below genius IQ (133 for those wondering), I stand 6'1 in perfect health, athletic, relatively good looking. I have an incredible mother who works her ass off for me, and have been surrounded with incredible influences my entire life. I've fucked up so many times, and have gotten lucky even more times, and I'm genuinely lucky I didn't fall into a path of drug abuse, nonproductivity, etc... I have an addictive personality, and am decently secure, and coupled with the fact I've dealt with those circumstances early in my life (My father was addicted to cigarettes, coke, and alcohol; the latter two being psychological addictions, but nonetheless I've had some negative circumstances in my life). I lack common sense at times, but that's something you obtain with experience, and I've grown in that department as I've gotten older. Although my family struggles financially, I live in one of the most affluent counties in the world. I have the genuine potential to do anything I want to do. Unfortunately, this all remains purely potential. Until I capitalize on it, I am not capable of doing anything I want to do.
Hypocrite Rating-5.5/10. I've wasted so much time. It needs to stop.

• Someone who doesn't act in a malicious nature towards others

I can be horrible. Just a few days ago I was contemplating the best way to make a certain girl suicidal, or at the very least manically depressed. I'm generally a good person, but my insecurity can get in the way of that.
Hypocrite Rating-8.5/10

Average everything out, and my hypocrite rating is a 5.6. That honestly doesn't seem too great. It's safe to say, I'm moderately hypocritical. However, awareness should be the key to changing that. Self-mastery is the key to success.