The Message

There are many messages. Many will try to deceive you. Many will attempt to lead you astray, knowing fully that it is in the best interests of others for you to fail. But from the many messages, there is a true one. It will be dressed in different clothing and given to you in many forms, hoping one of its appearances will stick in your mind and teach you the secrets to life. There are no quick fixes. You are not special. There is no extended meaning. Things are what they are, and you can never change that. Accept it, and learn to optimize it, rather than dwell on it. You are not beholden to your circumstances, but rather you are responsible for your disposition towards them. Define your own reality, and create your own identity. Do not accept what isn't as what is.

Control

The paradox is that you have tremendous control over your life, but you
give up that control when you try to control others. For the only way you
can control others is to recognize their natures and do what is necessary to
evoke the desired reactions from those natures. Thus your actions are
controlled by the requirements involved when you attempt to control
someone else.

The Point of Diminishing Returns

In everything in life, there comes a time in which the effort you once put into something is no longer satisfactory, and when your return begins to decrease as your effort begins to increase. You will eventually need to take more of a drug to realize its high. You will need more alcohol to get drunk (A rant for another time, but alcohol is a drug, and I dislike how it is separated categorically from things such as marijuana, cocaine, heroin, etc... by most people). This point is reached because without it, there would be some endeavor which could have limitless earning potential. The major thing I would like to focus on with this right now is with interpersonal relationships, specifically romantic ones. There comes a point in relationships in which the novelty begins to wear off, where people get too comfortable, and where it stops being worth it. For me, it seems most relationships hit this point at the three month mark. However, it varies girl to girl, usually inversely proportional with the amount of sexual partners she's had before me. I won't bother breaking down the specifics, or every reason why this happens. To be honest, most of these reasons are unknown to even myself. Irregardless, it doesn't matter either way because the why in this case is inconsequential. There are a number of signs which will show you that a girl has hit this point, most of which are minor and don't apply every time. However, the one consistency I have noticed regarding this subject is a single sign. Maybe it's due to a sample size, but the one thing every girl does when this point is hit is that she stops rationalizing my behavior. She stops defending it; not that I expect to be able to do whatever I want without being reprimanded, but a girl will start blaming me for things that she normally would not have. The sex will wear off too. In order to keep the relationship going past this point, it's going to require the sacrifice, in any magnitude, of your balls and your spine, as well as an increase in effort. You're going to have to start dealing with shit. It's going to stop being fun. If you truly believe you love a girl by this point, (Spoiler alert: You don't), you can stick it out and make your life hell past this point. But from experience, it's not worth it, and it never gets any better from that point forward. You have to realize when to cut your losses and move on. Not knowing is the Achilles' Heel of many gamblers, alcoholics, and addicts alike.
Commitment is something that is only searched for when you think, or even know, consciously or unconsciously, that you can't do better. True love doesn't exist, and monogamy is absolutely acceptable during the time of the relationship, as you shouldn't expect it unless you're willing to give it, but the idea that you should someone should be chained to you for the rest of their lives is rooted deeply in insecurity. Avoid it and any thinking that can relate to it.

Light

Light is beautiful when it's surrounded by darkness.

Don't Buy Into the Lie

Incidentally, this is also the name of the first song I wrote on guitar. But I feel that this is a good time to post this, considering the circumstances surrounding my personal life at the time. Simply put, social interactions generally assume a false aura. Most people genuinely don't give a crap about you, especially as you get older, unless it can benefit them in some way. Girls don't care about you. If you're in a relationship, a girl may care about you as long as you can provide her with positive feelings, whether emotionally or physically. Once that stops, there may be a period where she will stick around. But if she doesn't have a preexisting commitment to you (I.e. kids), there will come a point where she will be fine with throwing you under a bus for her own benefit. Your superiors don't care about you. At work, your boss may or may not give you preferential treatment. However, once you stop providing a tangible benefit to the company, or the second that you do something to negatively affect the company or the company's image, you're gone. Most of your friends don't care about you. They may associate you with a positive image, but if you go against their agenda, or your friendship negatively affects them, they will likely not hesitate to cut you loose. Now this isn't to say that all people are bad people. This isn't to say that there aren't a few people who place others above themselves. These people exist, but are few and far between. But rather, this is more to warn you against falling victim to the same trends. Doing things in the best interests of others feels a lot better than doing it for yourself. Don't buy into this lie that the only thing that matters is the bottom line, or how something benefits you. Sacrifice to the greater good when you can. Devote your time and resources to those in need of it. It may seem counterintuitive to do so, but the trends of modern society are designed to make people miserable. Think about the levels of depression, dependence and addictions, and suicide that are more eminent today than at any other point in human history. We are "freer than ever before." We are more advanced than at any other point in human achievement. Theoretically, we should be happier as a species than ever before. Yet, the toxicity of a culture that centers around narcissism and self-interest has continually poisoned the happiness and souls of people today. There are people living in gutters in third world countries that are happier than we are. These people, of course, hang on to hope and the greater good, rather than indulge in hedonism. Rise above what Western Culture is becoming. You will likely be shunned for it,. Maybe you won't do it because acceptance is more important to you than your happiness. But if you stop and reflect on that idea, then maybe you will begin to realize what the problem is in the first place. Playing by the rules of the culture may advance you within the culture. But if your goal is heightened self-awareness and self-improvement, you're going to have to discover your own reality.

Song Lyrics:
Don't Buy Into the Lie (x2)

Spineless Girls Everywhere
Society of the Weak
Strike the Heart from the Rear
Where the Flesh is Exposed

Invertebrates in Strapless Dresses (x2)

Don't Buy Into the Lie (x2)
We will Fight into the Night
Don't Buy Into the Lie

Spineless Boys Everywhere
Pawn Their Souls for the Dream
Embrace your masculinity
Forge your Identity

Invertebrates in Two-Piece Swimsuits(x2)

Don't Buy Into the Lie (x2)
Fight for Your Own Life
Don't Buy Into the Lie

There must be Something in the Way
I can't see through the Void
It must be so Deep
Since we are so Empty

Invertebrates in the Chicken Coup (x2)

Don't Buy Into the Lie (x2)
There is Nothing Else to Sell
If you Buy Into the Lie

Revenge

Re·venge: Verb (to use with object) - to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, especially in a resentful or vindicitive spirit. 

Revenge is something that happens after the fact. It's one thing to stand up for yourself at the time. Revenge is a completely different animal. It's something that can manifest itself to albatross proportions based on a distorted sense of injury. Edgar Allen Poe captured the irrationality of revenge perfectly in the short story, The Cask of Amontillado. In The Cask of Amontillado, Montresor, a man who may be insane, narrates his elaborate revenge on his friend Fortunato, whom he believes insulted him. His revenge is ultimately completed after he buries Fortunato alive. The moral of the story? Don't be a fucking psychopath. People who actively seek revenge are people who can't accept loss. If someone does something to you, especially something minor, and you feel the need to go off of the deep end planning an intricate plot in order to prove that you are the dominant species, you need help. Everything in life is so minor in the grand scheme. A perceived insult just showcases a crack in the "impenetrable" emotional shell so many believe they have. If you really don't give a shit about anything, nothing would ever bother you. And that is the best philosophy to have to an extent. Don't sweat the small stuff, rather enjoy moments for what they are. Don't worry about the future, don't live in the past, live in the present, do what it is you want to do, and improve yourself as a person every second until you're the best person you can be. Revenge is living in the past. It is unproductive. And revenge, even more so than ultimatums, is the ultimate sign of weakness.

Suicide is for Quitters

For the second time in the past few weeks, I have strongly entertained the idea of taking my own life. Preceding both breakdowns was something negative that happened. And both times, after reflecting on my thoughts from the heat of the moment, I have ultimately determined that suicide is the least masculine, most pathetic thing someone can do. Life sucks. Death probably doesn't. I'd much rather be dead than be alive. But ending everything because you refuse to face your problems is the same thing as shutting off your xbox because you're playing poorly in Call of Duty. You don't shut it off if you ever want to succeed in it. You double down, learn from your mistakes, gain experience, work, and overcome the system of your oppressors. You can't keep someone down who doesn't want to be kept down, who won't accept it. Suicide isn't screaming FUCK YOU at your oppressors, challenges, and difficulties. Suicide is refusing to stand up for yourself. Suicide is eliminating the possibility of reclaiming your honor, dignity, and whatever you stand for. While I am not the type of person to force virtues I extol onto others, and prefer to let others find their own meanings and rules for life, there are universal virtues. These virtues, although they can be expressed in different forms, all have the same identity at their cores. One of these universal virtues, the second most important one is to always stay true to yourself. This virtue can be expressed through honesty, accountability, discipline, hard work, and sacrifice. The most important virtue, however, is to stay true to others. This virtue is expressed the same ways as staying true to yourself; however, the primary motivation is the betterment of other people. No one person on his own is all that important. And in all honesty, one man killing himself will not create much of a ripple in society, and it would be ignored in the grand scheme of things. However, on a personal level, suicide is something that spits in the face of every human virtue that is objectively good. Suicide is cowardly. Suicide is dishonest. Suicide is undisciplined. Suicide is the most pathetic thing someone could do to deal with their problems.